


Over And Over And Over And Over And Over Again

by space_aces



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Graphic Violence, Nonbinary Character, Not Beta Read, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Time Loop, Time Travel Fix-It, they all die but they get better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23167810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_aces/pseuds/space_aces
Summary: Sam died 4 hours, 18 minutes, and 37 seconds after watching their friends die. Sam woke up driving in their car with Cleo and Betty chatting next to him. They swerved the car with a gasp and pulled over before stumbling out and onto the rough road. The asphalt felt sharp and real but they remembered dying. They remembered watching Cleo snap her back and Betty disappear trying to save her. They remembered not being able to help them.
Relationships: Betty | Bette/Cleo (Rusty Quill Gaming)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Over And Over And Over And Over And Over Again

**Author's Note:**

> Holy fuck. Okay so awhile ago I listened to the monster of the week one shot and like adsfsg hyperfixated hard. Then I hyperfixated on mechs so this didn't get finished for a long time and u can tell. This is also the longest fic I've written as if right now. I love Sam rn and dont come for me for historical inaccuracies i wasnt born

Sam died 4 hours, 18 minutes, and 37 seconds after watching their friends die. Sam woke up driving in his car with Cleo and Betty chatting next to him. They swerved the car with a gasp and pulled over before stumbling out and onto the rough road. The asphalt felt sharp and real but they remembered dying. They remembered watching Cleo snap her back and Betty disappear trying to save her. They remembered not being able to help them.

Betty's voice sounded muffled against all the thoughts racing in their head but Cleo's touch was grounding and easier to cling onto. Sam was all too aware of the tears threatening to fall from their eyes. Furiously rubbing at them, they finally looked up at the two concerned women. 

"Sam? Can you hear me?" Sam nearly let out a sob at Cleo's voice. It hadn't even been long since she died but it felt like ages ago. They reached out and held onto Cleo's hands, both of them, trying to memorize the feeling of her touch with their own shaking hands. Theirs looked so small compared to hers.

“Maybe we should go another day. The cows have already been dead for a few days.” Betty’s soft voice felt like somebody dumped a bucket of ice water on Sam.

“C-cows?” They cursed the stutter that came out. Of course they were on their way to investigate the cattle slaughter. It was the day Cleo would die with Betty behind her. Sam slowly stood up but Cleo didn’t let go of their shoulders, “I know what we need to do.”

“Sam, you couldn’t possibly-”

“There’s a knocker pond behind the church. It’s angry and going to kill everyone if we don’t take care of it. It could kill both of you.” Sam interrupted Betty and went to get into the car, “We gotta deal with it. Now.”

Cleo and Betty reluctantly got in as well as Sam drove them to the pond. The feeling of dread filled Sam’s entire body as they got closer. They couldn’t let Cleo and Betty down. Not now, not again.

Everyone was a bit more prepared for the fight but that didn’t stop Cleo from losing her arm. Sam screamed as if it hurt them too and didn’t notice the knocker foot before he felt their entire body being crushed.

Sam woke up with a gasp and phantom pains along their chest. Woke up wasn’t the best way to say it, more like thrown back into their body. They were standing outside their car. It wasn’t like last time. Their arms pressed against their chest, still not certain their ribs aren’t broken. They could feel the eyes staring at the back at their head but nothing felt real enough to care. Eventually they turned around, “We need to get out of here. Now.”

“What? We just got here.” Betty looked confused while Cleo just looked done with Sam, “What’s going on, Sam?” She always was the sweet one huh. Sam felt a little choked up thinking too much about Betty to focus on her words.

“I need you to trust me. Get into my car and I’ll get us somewhere else.” Sam was already getting back into their car. After a few moments, Betty and Cleo followed suit. They drove out of the town and far away. The feeling of dread was back and before they could turn back, a shot rang out and Sam was dead.

They woke up this time. Lying in the backseat of their shitty car. This whole thing seemed to be random and Sam fucking hated it. It was night and they didn’t even know what point in time they were at. At this point they were going to need a notebook and start writing down what works and what doesn’t. They squirmed into the front of the car and turned on the engine. After driving a little, Sam could tell this was before the knocker, maybe even before the cow thing. Maybe if they took care of the threat earlier..

Sam didn’t notice they drove to the knocker pond. It just kind of...happened. They got out and grabbed their gun before shooting once into the pond. Nothing happened. Crying out in frustration, they did it again. This time there was a rumbling before the knocker came out of the pond and stared right at Sam. They looked back with eyes that seemed too old for a 14 year old, “Come and get me you bitch!” Sam unloaded their rifle into the knocker but it didn’t seem to care much as it moved to attack Sam. Dread washed over them like a wave before they noticed the mouth coming right at them.

The inside of a knocker was gross. This is what Cleo felt? Sam wasn’t quite done yet and reloaded their rifle and started to shoot the knocker from the inside. It seemed to have an effect as it started to disintegrate from beneath them. Soon enough they were falling. Was this enough to stop this loop? The knocker was dead and Betty and Cleo were safe. Were they going to die again? They screamed as they hit the ground and died on impact.

Sam screamed as they fell to their knees in the middle of the forest. The pain seemed so real but none of the injuries. Cleo was suddenly by their side and looking for the imaginary injuries and Sam just couldn’t help the tears that started to flow, “I-I can’t  _ do _ this anymore!” Their fists hit the ground a few times as they continued to sob, burdened with timelines of tragedy. 

They were vaguely aware of being pulled into a hug and softly shushed, “It’s okay. Why don’t we stop for the day, huh?” Sam laughed a little but clung to Cleo like if they let go she would keel over and die. Maybe she would. They calmed down after a bit and just stayed quiet as Cleo drove them somewhere.

She and Betty left after a bit and Sam drove somewhere secluded. This probably wasn’t going to work but they were just so tired. A too big rifle was brought up to their head and they barely registered the bang before they died.

Sam didn’t react this time. Of course the headache was horrible but they couldn’t show anything was wrong. They needed to figure out what to do. This time they were maybe a day before Cleo and Betty would be gone forever. The two were talking about something while Sam was just kind of there so at least they didn’t have to talk while they made plans inside their head. 

It went like that for awhile. Sam would make a plan, they would die before Cleo or Betty did and it would reset. Sam would make a plan, Cleo or Betty were gone and they killed themself to reset. It hurt every damn time but they stopped reacting. A part of their brain thought about the mental repercussions this would have but that didn’t matter now. 

At least through the timelines Sam learned a bit more about the two ladies. Cleo talked about how she was looking for revenge before but she never told why. Now they knew it was because of a lost love. They also learned that Betty, or Bette, was that lost love but too scared to say anything. Sam learned this information through different ways with the first time Betty confessing being when Cleo was dying but Sam tried to help her in the next life. It all ended the same way though.

They didn’t know how long it had been since the original timeline had happened but it didn’t feel like a year so that was good. That’s what Sam hoped at least. They started to go through what went wrong in each timeline and try to figure out how to beat this fucking thing. Then one day it clicked. They knew how to finally win.

Sam told Cleo and Betty the plan much like the first run through but this time with more confidence. They were positive this was going to work. It had to. And it seemed to be working. Everything was going to plan, Sam had actually memorized the patterns of the knocker enough to know what it was going to do and how to avoid it. Cleo kept her arm but it was broken pretty badly. Betty healed her but they both still looked worse for wear. They knew this had to end soon. It almost seemed like the original fight. The one that ended in tragedy. 

It wasn’t until Sam saw the knocker going to eat Cleo did they realize that maybe this wasn’t going to work. Not ready to watch Cleo fall and break her back or Betty disappear trying to save her, Sam jumped inside of the knocker’s mouth, gun ready. They were only faintly aware of the screams outside.

The inside was just as gross as the other few times. Weirdly unnatural but they spent no time before beginning to shoot the inside of the icky beast. Like the other times, it died and left Sam falling from the sky. This was going to hurt like a bitch but at least they didn’t fail Cleo and Betty. Maybe this time it’ll stay this way. Sam cried for the first time in awhile as they fell, feeling like it was slower this time, “I’m sorry-”

Sam didn’t hit the hard ground. They landed in strong arms and it still hurt like a bitch, but it didn’t kill them. They were alive. Eyes open, they saw Cleo inches away from their face with a look of worry and fear. They were all alive. A laugh forced itself out of Sam’s mouth before sobs followed it. They shook and cried and held onto Cleo, all the emotions of every timeline hitting them at once. It was all too much but they did it. They finally did something right.

Betty tried to heal them but Sam went into near hysterics when she did, not wanting to lose her when they just got her back. They don’t remember falling asleep but they woke up on a couch with a soft blanket over them. Face wet, they moved to touch their cheeks only to find fresh tears, some still rolling down. The dream wasn’t remembered. 

Hushed voices could be heard in the other room and Sam quietly got up from the couch and tiptoed over to the doorway, blanket wrapped around them.

“What happened can mess up an adult, let alone a kid.” It was whispered but still full of concern. Betty.

“I know that! They’ve been through enough right now, they just need to rest before we even begin to jump on them with new stuff, Betty.” Cleo this time. Sam quietly went back to the couch and curled up into a ball. Were they talking about them? It made sense but it was supposed to be a happy time. They were supposed to be okay now. Sam closed their eyes but images of every way Cleo had died and Betty had disappeared flashed through their head and they couldn’t help but let out a small whimper before keeping their eyes open. They were basically 18. They should be over this. They won. It’s okay now.

But it wasn’t. It probably wasn’t going to be okay for a long while. A part of them knew that but just didn’t want to admit it. Who would want a crybaby kid around anyways? Certainly not Betty or Cleo. Sam wouldn’t even want them around. They were just a selfish kid who didn’t see their dad anymore and got their friends hurt more than too many times. Mental health issues weren't anything new but who is going to take a kid who doesn’t even fit into society. They’re supposed to be a cool 18 year old guy not some 14 year old child crying on a couch that wasn’t theirs.

Quiet sobs shoot through Sam’s body. It was childish but they couldn’t find it in themself to care. Everything had just been building up inside of them and now it’s finally letting itself be known. So this was a breakdown. They felt someone sit down next to them but didn’t look up from their knees. A gentle hand rubbed small circles into their back as Sam slowly calmed down. Unfurling from their ball, Sam looked up at Cleo and Betty with a sniffle, “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Betty crouched down to be eye level with Sam. She looked so worried and concerned. Almost motherly. They laughed a little before choking on some spit. 

“I’ve been…” They didn’t know how to phrase it. I’ve been dying everyday for I don’t know many days? I’ve been the reason you guys died? I’ve been a bad friend? A small cry of frustration bubbled up and out of their mouth before they could suppress it, “I don’t think you guys would believe me.”

“Sam, we literally fight monsters almost everyday. Betty is a ghost. We’ll believe you.” Cleo kept up the back circles and smiled.

“I’ve been stuck in a time loop. The first time you…” They took a deep breath, “You died and Betty disappeared trying to help you. I died a bit after that but then I woke up. I kept waking up after dying and I just wanted to save you guys so I made sure to die if you guys died or sometimes I would die and you guys didn’t but I still woke up.” Sam knew they were shaking but kept their head down, “It hurt everytime and I don’t really know how many times it was but it wasn’t a year. At least I think. Maybe just a few months. I just don’t want to be alone again but I let you guys down so much and I know I’m just a kid but I promise I can be better I swear-” Their rambles were shut down by Cleo pulling them into a proper hug. Sam startled for a moment before clinging to her tighter than ever before. It felt..nice.

“That’s fucked up.” Sam laughed a little, “Kid, you’ve been through more than the both of us combined, you’re allowed to cry but you don’t need to apologize for anything. You saved us.”

“But I didn’t so many times.”

“That doesn’t matter here. Here, all of us are okay and not gone. We’re both here and you’re here. It’s okay, Sam.” Betty reached a hand out before realizing it wouldn’t do much, “Pretend I’m hugging too.”

“I did learn a lot more though. I’m smarter now, I guess.” Sam sniffled and pulled away from the warm embrace, “Not the best way to learn but I know more about you guys now. Research and all that." 

Cleo grinned, “Good kid!” They laughed a little before all three of them were giggling together, "Whatcha learn?" Sam hesitated for a moment.

"Well..uh. I found out why you're on this kinda revenge quest and I found out why Betty's a ghost." Their voice got smaller as they spoke, almost like they expected Cleo and Betty to get mad at them. Instead they were met with concerned looks.

Betty was the first to speak, "That's too much for you to know at such a young age. What happened wasn't exactly great. How did you find out?" Sam froze up and looked away from Betty and found the ground especially interesting. 

They stayed silent for a few moments, thankfully not being forced to talk like they imagined would happen. A part of them felt guilty for not speaking right away but Sam just couldn't find the words for that bit, "You confessed. The first time you did it, Cleo died. So you confessed. The second time you did it just before I died. It went well and I'm sure you two would've been happy if I didn't cause a reset. Maybe you two from that timeline are."

"What do you mean?" Cleo seemed confused and she had every right to be. The tone came out perhaps harsher than intended because both Sam and Betty shrunk into themselves a little. She sighed before taking a deep breath, "Do you want to confess? You don't have to if you don't want to," Her hand found its place on Sam's arm, "And you. You are an important part of our lives too. We could never get over you that easily so don't think of yourself like that. You've been through so much and you deserve the love we give you."

Sam sniffled a little more and rubbed their eyes. They missed the looks Cleo and Betty gave each other, silently saying they would talk later, "I don't wanna die again. Maybe I should just stop. Go back to my dad." It sounded like hell to their own ears but it seemed like the smartest option.

"When you're with us, you're safe." Cleo sounded absolutely confident herself. Like she left no room for disagreeing, "We'll both make sure of it. God- Sam you're just a kid. We shouldn't have let you do half the things you did anyways. I was too focused on revenge to notice. You're our kid now. You're wanted."

The choked sob that came out of Sam's throat wasn't on purpose and it surprised them a little. They couldn't even find the words they wanted to say. A thank you? An apology for having to be dealt with? Instead Sam broke down into tears. Crying like they had earlier except now they didn't know why they were crying. Everything just seemed too much and it was finally pressing down on the young kid. 

Cleo was holding them again, firm but caring arms around their body and holding them close. They curled up against her, attempting to appear smaller than they already were. Eventually Sam calmed down enough and just stayed silent against Cleo’s body. She didn’t seem to mind so they didn’t move. 

They must have fallen asleep because when they opened their eyes, they were tucked into a bed. Sam hasn’t slept in an actual bed in probably months. They didn’t know time well enough. It was quiet this time though and Sam was worried that they were left. As softly as possible, they left the room they were sleeping in and went out into the living room. Cleo was snoring away on the couch. Betty wasn’t anywhere to be found though. Sam felt a little guilty at supposedly taking the bed and began to silently slip out the front door. 

“Where are you going?” Betty’s voice caused Sam to flinch a little but they closed the door quietly. They turned around to find Betty standing, or floating, slightly off the ground a few feet away. She had her arms crossed but didn’t look upset.

Sam looked down at the ground and tried to think of something, “I just need some air.”

“I’ll come with you. I have nothing else to do anyways.” She walked through the door before Sam could open it. They quickly followed and hoped the door closing didn’t wake up Cleo. Betty was sitting on the hood of Sam’s car and they shuffled over and onto it themself, “So you know I was Cleo’s girlfriend.” They didn’t trust their voice so Sam just nodded, “Okay. Cool… You can call me Bette then. I talked to Cleo while you slept and it was a bit messy but everything was fine. Easier to do when you’re not in peril I bet.” She let out a small laugh and Sam smiled a little as well.

“Yeah.. Everything seems easier. Like you can actually breathe for once.” They looked up at the sky and the colours of the sunset burned across. It felt peaceful. Their eyes drifted over to Bette to find her looking at them with concern.

“Do you feel like you can breathe now, Sam?” Her voice was dripping with so much worry that it caused their breath to hitch. Can they breathe now? The underlying anxiety of getting ready to wake up in the same day or dying tomorrow was still there, waiting.

“I don’t….know.” It’s true. They didn’t know, “It feels too good to be true right now. I’m so scared that I’m going to have to restart this day all over again and I’d rather die forever than do that.” Words were tumbling out of their mouth before they could stop it, “I don’t know how old I am, I don’t know who I am, I don’t feel real. The only thing I know is that I’m not a boy...or a girl.” Tears were gathering in their eyes, “Am… Am I broken?”

Bette’s eyes softened and they moved closer to Sam, “You’re not broken, kiddo. You’ve been through a lot and it’s normal to not feel okay right after that. Cleo and I are here for you, always.” Sam sniffled and lunged towards her, forgetting that Bette couldn’t actually be touched. To both their surprise, they clutched to Bette’s torso in a tight hug. A startled yelp escaped her but she didn’t waste any time hugging back. All that dying and coming back to life must have done something and Sam wasn’t complaining. They hugged her as tight as they could possibly muster. 

And as the sun set over the hills, Sam held onto Bette. They had their friends back. They had their  _ family _ back. Whatever came next, they knew they wouldn’t be alone through it. Not anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> i lowkey hate,,,,,most of this but yknow I love Sam so
> 
> Working title: "HURTS SAM HURTS SAM HURTS SAM HUR"
> 
> I still like talking about rqg and the motw one shot so......find me on tumblr @neoncat666


End file.
